The fluke was a fluke

Turns out I was just tired and needed to sleep, but I still have not gotten a full nights sleep. I wake up everyday around the same time. I need some sleeping pills.

Just a fluke

My happiness is over, I thought I may have defeated boredom, depression and lonliness but it was only a temporary feeling. I am getting angrier by the minute along with suicidal and violent thoughts. There is no longer a smile on my face but merely a blank stare. As of right now I think my depression will last forever, but who knows, maybe it will end tomorrow.

Yesterday was good, but I got no sleep

I'm beginning to think I have insomnia because no matter what time I go to sleep I wake up at the same time. My eyes are bloodshot at this point and I'm sometimes lacking energy. Anyways, yesterday was actually a day that I enjoyed becasue I was out of the house the whole day.

Today is 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July to everyone. Go out and have a good time.

I'm still looking...

I'm still looking for a job, I need one desperately because without any money I am stuck at home doing absolutely nothing. I need the movie, so I can pay for gas and at least drive to random places. Wish me luck, I need a job.

My love for myself is working...

So today I have not had a single depressing thought, I did not feel bored and most important my mind was occupied with happy thoughts and plans all day. I listened to music, watched a movie, danced a bit, and went out to the mall today to do some window shopping. Amazing day!

learning to LOVE MYSELF

I am learning to love myself and it is making me feel more confident, more energized and I am lot happier. I just keep saying to myself that I am happy, I am confident, I am good looking, I am smart, I am friendly and all of a sudden a smile appears on my face. That long faced depression is starting to fade.